The Dog Who Ate the World

(Text draft of a picturebook)



                 The Dog Who Ate the World
Once there was a very curious puppy [pic] named Sweetheart.
She had curious ears,  [small pic]
curious eyes,   [small pic]
a curious nose,   [sticking her nose into startled lady's rear]
and a curious tongue,  [checking out floor under fridge door?]
but most of all... [page]
she had curious TEETH!   [happy dog, sparkling teeth; visual theme A]
She was so happy with her strong white teeth, [getting ready to chomp something not shown]
and there were so many things to try them on.  [blissfully chewing wooden rolling pin]
Chewing anything was fun, [telephone]
especially things that made interesting noises. [camera going crunch]
Some things changed taste as she chewed, [shoe]
and some things had different tastes inside them. [purse]

Sweetheart lived with a nice pack of fingerwolves, [stupid-looking family of four]
who constantly made admiring noises. [Chewing pipe, "Mustn't chew Daddy's pipe."]
They had one special noise [No!] which meant "Come here and we'll pet you."
If their demands got excessive, Sweetheart would go explore by herself.  [under bed, chewing a small appliance]
However, they were very good about giving her lots of interesting chew toys [looking into trash],
and often they were very pleasant company [dog with family, chewing the hem of a skirt? or buttons off a jacket? lots of holes in family's clothes]

But little chew toys weren't enough; [visual theme B: sad eyes, chewing a hairbrush]
Sweetheart was getting bored.
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Then Sweetheart realized [sparkling eyes, visual theme A; page] that ...
her territory also included lots of BIG chew toys.  [biting chair rung]
After that [small pic: bicycle]
It was Christmas [small: chewing piano leg]
every day [small: biting car tire].
She was a happy dog.  [blissfully biting leather sofa]

Before long Sweetheart had tried all the big chew toys. [Interior with destroyed furniture, bitten chandeliers, curtains, view of bitten lawn furniture outside; bigger dog sadly chewing on last rung of shredded chair]

On slow days she would overeat; [getting bigger, biting refrigerator door and pulling it open]

But overeating wasn't enough; [visual theme B: sad eyes, chewing a full ham]
Sweetheart was getting bored again.
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Then Sweetheart realized [sparkling eyes, visual theme A; page] that...
she was living inside a GREAT BIG chew toy, [biting carpet]
with lots of chew-handles [biting doorway moulding]
and crunchables, [growling happily and "killing" sink faucet]
and she was happy again.  [biting corners of walls]

Her fingerwolves could still be boring sometimes,
[biting the car fender, Mom jumps out "eek!"]
but they always responded when she wagged her tail. [pic]

But after awhile her great big chew toy was wearing out,
[outside view of house with holes in walls, sheetrock stripped to studs in places, some studs severed, big holes in roof, ruined cars, family huddled under blanket tent]

Sweetheart was getting bored again. [visual theme B: sad eyes, sparkling teeth]
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Then Sweetheart realized that ... [sparkling eyes, visual theme A, getting progressively bigger, Clifford size and beyond; page]
the fun wasn't over yet!
[2-page panorama; make everything look as tasty as possible; maybe letter in little "eat me" "chew me" "try me" "bite me" labels, as in the Tenniel illustrations to Alice]
There was a whole world out there to explore!

Trees were good exercise, [biting down tree, still getting bigger]
but they didn't taste very interesting.  [sad eyes, heaps of chewed-down trees.]

Fingerwolf toys were better.  [bigger yet, biting into another house]

Some fingerwolf toys even moved, so she could chase them. [pile of chewed vehicles; cars, busses, cement mixers, etc.]

But after awhile there weren't any fresh toys nearby [bigger pile, with police cars, helicopters, tanks, etc.]

Sweetheart was getting bored again. [visual theme B: sad eyes, sparkling teeth]
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Then Sweetheart realized that ... [visual theme A; page]

even though the ground wasn't very tasty [one bite, big excavation],
there wasn't anything else new to chew on [same panorama, everything SHREDDED],

so she might as well try a bite of earth. [bigger yet, HUGE jaw opening]

A big bite, and... [nothing visible, just "CHOMP!" on black background].

she ate it. [Solar system: Mercury, Venus, Sweetheart with huge tummy, Mars]
All of it.

Then Sweetheart was very, very lonely, [lots of black background around sad eyed dog],
and bored almost out of her mind, until... [page]
a volcano went off in her tummy. [boom, "urp"]
That hurt, but ... [page]
[2-page: HWALP!!! barfing the planet Earth; also maybe cars, trees, mountains, elephants, aircraft carriers, shoes, TVs, etc. etc.]
soon she felt better. [page]
And she didn't want to be that lonely ever again. [dog wagging tail, looking hopeful and appealing; tip of tongue showing, no teeth]  [page]

So this story's ending is happy
[2-page picture of globe, with talk balloons all over saying "Ew" "Yuk" "What did you kids do?" "What was that smell?" "Gross!" "Disgusting!" "Stop that!" "Get a MOP!" "My hair!!!" "$#%@&!!" (hwalp) "Call the plumber" (ralph) "No, did YOU burp?" "Lysol!" etc]
although sloppy!
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THE END
[small: dog coming back to family wagging her tail as before]
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